So much to take in. So much in one day, riding Chloe, working with the babies, talking to people about trainers, learning stuff about myself, and then riding Dru! Ahh.

So my friends and I bring all of the babies in, brush all of them, and take pics.

Most of them are good, they're decent to be brushed and pretty well mannered for what they've been taught. There is one baby, Charese, who is freaking out. She is rearing, pacing, doing everything in that stall that she can to show how upset she is. The other people I was with just ignored her, figuing she'd settle down eventually, there wasn't really a good reason for her to be freaking out. I felt so bad for her, and whenever I see a horse in a stall or paddock (someplace they can't harm me) I'm just so drawn to them, want to help them, and show them that everything is okay. I have no clue why, maybe it's something I never got and want to give it to them.

So I go right up to her and start petting her and trying to calm her down. She was pretty good, and had her face resting on mine and was starting to relax. Whenever I left she started freaking out again, and whenever Emma went over she got too frustrated or didn't care enough to stay with her. It's not that Emma wasn't good enough, or patient enough, she just wasn't as passionate about it. I would go back, calm her down, and she would put her head back down and rest on me. The connection was so incredible, I couldn't leave her side. Then, when no one else would brush her (they thought I was crazy for liking her), I went in the stall and did it, pretty scared of what she would do. I made Emma help me, I can't take all the credit. But the way she looked at me when I calmed her down, and the connection I felt was so amazing. She trusted me, believed me, had someone love her, which is something she typically doesn't get. The weird thing... I HATE hot horses. Can't stand them, run away from them. But at the same time, I draw near to them. I immediately went over to her, and tried to see what I could do.. if she would let me into her world. She responded really well. A few things I took from that... is it meant to be I have these horses that I'm scared of, but love so much? One day will I be able to handle them on the ground, or will fear always get in the way. I would much rather ride a scared horse than take the risk of them running me over. I've heard that good horse people aren't fearless, they're just smart about it. Can I learn to be smart? How do I overcome these fears? I'm capable of it physically, but mentally can I get past it?

I rode a new horse today, I was trying her out. The one thing I loved about her was how safe I felt. She was pretty big, hands wise and just over all. Her hooves were the size of a dinner plate! She couldn't do much dressage. Can I find a better horse, that I feel safe with, at my price range? I had pretty much said no to her until that point was made to me. I honestly have no clue, I have a million people saying no. Well 8 people. Four saying try her more (2 of them are the owners so it doesn't really count). But really, it's one yes, and one maybe. I have no clue what to do. I take the people's opinions I value more and give them more weight, so theres a few more no's, and a few more yes'.

I have talked a lot about trainers this weekend, and heard a lot of different views. Mainly people don't agree with certain things trainers do. Of course I don't agree with every single aspect of who I ride with now, but you really won't like every single thing in a person. I've always been solid on who I like teaching me, Robyn, Gloria, people like that. I don't like it when people question it, it's my judgment and I can have lessons with who I please. Not that I disregard what anyone says, some do have valid points, just nothing I get too upset about. To me knowledge is important. You have to know how to do something to teach others, obviously. But what I like about Robyn and Gloria is they have many creative ideas about how to do it. Other trainers I've ridden with have the correct way to do something. Like slowing a horse down, half halt. When that doesn't work, what do you do. The old trainer didn't do anything, told me to half halt more, which obviously wasn't working. To me it is more important that they help you solve the problem, rather than just give you the correct answer. There is a difference between a rider, and a horse person.

Dru. Hmm. I love him. He frustrates me, and sometimes scared me, but not too much. I'm skeptical to buy this other horse because she doesn't have as much training as him, which I'm just not going to get with my price range. So I figure save money, buy a horse when I can get exactly what I want. When will that be? Who knows. Really good lesson Friday, have to blog about that later, I've written enough today. Had a fun, relaxing ride. Just rode up and down the drive way, got his butt moving, and had fun!

Finally having fun! I brought him in and he was all antsy about everything, probably because I haven't ridden him in so long. I walked him around and then worked on getting his head down and his back rounded, the usual. I got a bucking strap, and we have become friends. At first he was mad I was holding my outside reign so steadily and would try to stop. After a little bit he gave up on that and eventually, like magic, his head went down! I was very pleased. In the other direction he was good, like always :) I warmed him up w/t/c and gave him a short break. After that I did a little more with his head and then did figure eights. We did a ton of transitions and eventually did a walk to canter, and canter to walk. It was so fun to do fun things and not so focused on getting his big, honking neck down. I also find that it helps when we don't focus on that, because I just get really frustrated. At the same time I feel like I shouldn't move on until I can keep his head down all the time. It is improving, and it's a lot better enjoying my rides.

Went out to see Dru today for the first time in over a week! He had a lot of energy, so we did a lot of lunging. First I joined up just to let him move around a bit, and he was being really good, so I tacked him up and was about to get on when he ran backwards and refused to go on one side of the arena. There was a horse beside the arena and he was scared of it. So I got a lunge line and lunged him a little, went to get back on and he started backing up and was really nervous and still had a lot of energy so I decided to keep lunging him. I liked it because I could get him into all the corners and scary spots and he had to get used to it. He was really relaxed and supple by the end, so that was nice.

I've just come back from a missions trip so I can't really remember my last few rides before I left... but I can try.
My friend came out with me Thursday and video taped my ride. After our little fight (him saying no and me having to make him go) we seemed to have gotten a little better. He is a little more convinced I'm going to make him go, even if he really doesn't want to, and I am more confident that I can make him do it. He is becoming more collected, and we've done some walk, canter, walk things. This originally started because he was being a brat, and then I discovered how much he actually does know!
My lesson Friday was really good. We worked on the normal getting his head down and relaxed stuff, but it wasn't as long as it usually is, so that was good. I was telling R about him randomly cantering and stopping. She decided we should do it "for real". It was kinda rough at first, but then we did some figure eights, and did TONS of transitions. After that he listened really well and the walk to canters were really clean. It was a pretty good ride overall. I hope we can continue there when I ride tomorrow!

Bad. Worse. Worst.
     I find it very easy to stay focused on the negative of my ride today. I also want to blame someone else, but there is not really anyone to blame. Dru did not want to be ridden today, and protested every second he got. It started out okay, but then one of the two lesson kids in the arena was being lunged in the top half of the arena. So another girl and I were stuck at the "scary" end of the arena. His recent mirror trauma (you'd think, the way he acted, he was the one who ended up with a huge cash on his face) has made him unenthusiastic, to say the least, to go to the other half of the arena. And he's a complete faker about the mirror scaring him. He'll be fine, then the next time around be so over dramatic about. At first I fell into his little trap, but not for long!
     I think part of the reason he was being extra lazy was because his owner had ridden him fairly close to when I had, and he hadn't had much time in between rides. So he was all the more slow. When we were cantering he decided he didn't want to go anymore and simply started slowing down until he was practically cantering in place. I was pretty mad at him at that point and was done with him testing me, so i had some double whip action going on. He then went again, perfectly collected. He did that a few more times before figuring out I wasn't going to let him stop. This made me beyond frustrated, but also taught me two things. One, he can do a lot more than he let's on to, and I have no reason why I can't ask more of him. He knows how to do it, and has no excuse not to. Second, that he gives up fairly easily, and once you get past the initial stubbornness he is fine. It showed me that I can handle his stupid bucks and minor temper-tantrums. I have to suck it up, and show him I am queen of the universe! (= hehe
     My outside reign issue is the root of my unhappiness. I try, and try, and try some more, and no matter what feel like I suck, and he's stupid. It's very frustrating. Now he's figured out that he can move sideways when I don't have enough outside reign, and loves to do that. So I make him stop, he get's mad, goes well for a little bit, tries again and the process repeats itself. Very irritating. In his better direction, the left, he's great about putting his head down, just over bends a ton. My fault, again. I was trying so hard to get him to focus on me, as well as not using enough inside reign, he was over bending a lot. In the other direction it's a double whammy. It's his bad side, as well as my left hand for the outside reign, which is my weaker hand. It's really terrific!
     My rides have gotten shorter because I'm so frustrated with him. They have progressively gotten a little worse, and I'm mad and don't know how to fix it. And now I won't ride him for more than a week, so I guess it'll all just have to wait.

It was a scary mirror day yesterday. One of the mirrors has broken in the arena and Dru was not enjoying that. There was also a new trainee in there with me, who was more scared than Dru, so he was following Dru... a bad combination. I tried to do lots of leg yielding, squares, circles, stopping randomly to keep his attention on me. He was pretty relaxed by the end.
My out side reign problem persists, it's gotten a lot better on the right, but I am right handed so that probably helps, but the left I still feel isn't great. My friend had bought me a bucking strap for long lining Chessie, but I can't find it now! I'm kinda mad about that because it would be helpful to have something to make sure my hand can stay steady. Hopefully I'll find that.
My rides have been pretty short the past few days, I do my warm up and then just don't know what else to do. I practice a test, the just take him down the drive way. He's gotten way better about that.

Ehh. That's kind of how I feel all around today. I made plans with a million people today and felt bad the whole time I was at the barn because I had so much to do. When I got on him he was pretty good, relaxed but SLOW! Maybe it was my go go go personality today that made it seem unbearable. I decided to tackle his bad bending direction first. He was good at the walk, started out good at the trot, but then spooked and lost all focus. I then spent what seemed like forever working on my outside reign and not giving him any break until he listened. I wonder if it's me asking him wrong or in a way he doesn't know or him just being stubborn. That took a long time and I was getting more and more frustrated. When he finally did something a little right I switched directions and warmed him up the other way. He was pretty good, but I was just really frustrated for some reason. He was maybe being a little worse than he usually is, but it seemed a ton worse. After that I just took him up the drive way a few times and he has improved tremendously at that, so that was good. Pretty blah ride, my fault, not his. I just liked brushing him and hanging out with him today.

Ride Today

Today was a good day all around. I saw my dad for a bit and he took some good pictures and videos of me riding. It's always good to see yourself riding, I always find the image in my head is totally different from what is actually happening. Sometimes it is good, and sometimes not. From the videos I saw I need to keep my hands down and more steady. That would probably help Dru more too, seeing how his head needs to be down, and more steady. There were a few lessons going on throughout my ride, which just makes everything confusing, that is one thing I miss about Breezy, you pretty much always had the arena to yourself. Luckily Robyn has a bigger indoor, and a nice outdoor when all of this darn snow finally melts!

So I got to the barn and took my time brushing him and playing around with him. I was trying to avoid the lessons, but it was inevitable. When I finally sucked it up and went in I was pleased when Dru immediately put his head down and moseyed around the arena. A month ago that would not have been possible, it took the whole ride for us to be relaxed, with his head down and me trusting him enough to give it to him. We worked on getting his head down, again. In my defense he has a very large neck that is not easy to maneuver. In an attempt to correct my outside reign issue I was leg yielding him in a circle trying to get him to come to it. It's helpful, but ultimately I just need to keep it steady. I gave him a short break and then did some stretchy trot and canter, along with working on collection. At the end I would have normally given him a short break, and then done a test, but he's always mad when he thinks he's done and I make him do a test, so I skipped the break and went straight for the test. I always feel like our ride gets really good and we've made progress, and then the test just stinks. This helped a little. We're working on training 2. It was somewhat difficult dodging horses and Robyn, but we survived! Our center line ended up on the quarter line, but the halt was nice! To cool him out I took him down the drive way, quite the experience. Going towards the road he is fine, but going towards Robyn's house.. forget it. We do circles and circles, and more circles, and when he finally realizes we're up the drive way, there is no way he's sticking around! I think it's kind of funny, but I'm not sure he agrees :)

On a side note... I got my show clothes and am super excited for my first show!!
On another side note... I came to the conclusion that everything I'm telling Dru to do I need to do in my life. I'm a very big hypocrite!

Chessie!

Marissa!

Joey and I at Spurwink

Beach Fun!

Thumper and I

Today's Lesson and Random Ramblings

This week I wasn't able to ride as much as I would have liked to. It's hard to find rides out to the barn when both of my parents are working so much. The two times I did ride, however, were very good. I definitely feel like I'm getting more of a connection with him. I was very skeptical at first... we were off to a rocky start when my first week leasing him he tripped and fell, and took me down with him. I refused to get back on him for a week, and just joined up with him. That helped a little, but I still was skeptical. I've never felt like I can completely trust a horse, whenever I've tried something has gone wrong. I don't think you really ever can completely trust them... they're 1,000 pound plus animals, that have a flight mode programmed into their brains. It is important to have some faith in them, and hope that they wouldn't try to hurt you, and most don't want to.
After I went to a clinic at the barn I had all sorts of emotions running through my mind. I was jealous of my friend who had brought her horse there, and was able to have this amazing lesson. I was happy for her, and really glad she was trying new things, but I couldn't help wallowing in my self-pitty. After an encouraging talk with my old instructor I decided in order to be able to do what I've watched all of my friends do my whole riding career (show, go to clinics etc.) I have to work for it. I made up my mind that I was going to get over my fear and get back on him. When I did, the first ride was reasonable... there were many things I wanted to improve, but I was mainly happy I did not fall off and he listened alright. Over the next few weeks I started keeping track of my good rides and bad rides. Pathetic, I know. I was being a Negative Nelly about it, trying my hardest to convince my mom I needed a horse of my own. As much as she wanted to get me one, she decided I needed a job first. Which is very convenient seeing how I will be 16 in two weeks and will be able to get my license, followed by a car.
It has now been a little over a month sense I started leasing him, and having weekly lessons with Robyn. I have stopped keeping track of the good and bad days, because now they're pretty much all good! I don't drive out to the barn now wondering how the ride is going to be, thinking of all of the horrible things that are going to happen. I go out hoping for the best, and all of my rides have been productive, fun, and a learning experience. Dru is a tourist, as Robyn says. He's in everyones business except his own. He looks around trying to keep track of everyone else, and attempting to ignore me. We have gotten much better with connection, and I'm not very afraid anymore, but he still acts like everything he sees in like looking at the Grand Cannon. Over all though I am very happy with our progress and fall more and more in love with him every time I ride. We've made it through March madness (I'm not talking about basketball :p ). We're learning about each other, and he's teaching me a ton!
Today I was talking to Robyn about the differences with him and other horses I've ridden in the past. He is trained to a higher level than me, which is something I've never had before. I said I felt like it's cheating,  but she said it's what everyone should take advantage of if given the opportunity. His owner is showing him second 1, and I'll be doing training 2. He really showed me where I am as a rider. I wasn't sure exactly where I was... with Thumper and Chessie I started riding them at around training/intro, and brought them up with me to beginning first. I figured I was almost a first level rider, still working on some aspects of training. He told me point blank I'm training level, and have a lot to learn. Which is a good thing, because he can teach me a lot! I'm very excited! Especially with show season just around the corner. It feels great having everything you've always wanted. I've had a horse "crush" on him for a long time. I would watch his owner ride him at shows and dream about riding him. I've wanted this horse, at this barn, with this trainer, FOREVER! And it's all here, and I'm sooo happy!
So for today I worked on getting him rounder and his head down and relaxed more, which we've been doing for awhile. We're improving pretty well. I have an outside reign issue, we just don't get along, but that is improving. We did training 2, and we agreed it would be a good test to show. I asked some questions to clarify some lame things, that I probably should know, like where exactly is a horse supposed to halt at a letter? And the free walk/trot/canter and how specifically to give the reigns and what the judges are looking for. Over all if was a very good lesson and Dru was a very good boy!

Background :)

A little background info... I have been riding for about four years now. I started out at Perkins Farm, where I was very fortunate to learn a lot, very quickly. I really enjoyed it there, and leased several horses, including Foxfire Joey, an appendix QH gelding, Marissa, a Morgan cross, Elliot, an American warmblood, and Thumper (my favorite of the bunch :) ), a Halflinger. While I was there I trained with the owner for about a year, and once I started riding more often I started having lessons with a trainer that came into the barn, Robyn. Robyn ultimately taught me the basics of dressage and gave me a solid foundation. After a year or so of riding with Robyn I left Perkins. I took a short break from riding as I made the transition into my freshman year of high school. When marching band was finally over I started riding again, and decided music was just not my thing, I enjoyed it, but horses were way better. After that I went to Breezy Meadows for a year. It was a great opportunity to be around warmbloods that weren't just lesson horses, like Perkins had. I leased one of the Swedish Warmbloods, Chessie Girl. Sense there was no trainer consistently there Robyn recommended her assistant to come and teach me. I rode with her for about 6 months (I rode Chessie for a year) until Chessie was sold. Although I loved her, it was obvious that we were not the match I tried so hard for us to be. She taught me so much about horses in general, and also how to really ride. She was a different kind of horse than I had ever ridden, and also a mare... a very mare-ish mare. I found a deep connection with her, but just did not love working with her. After she was sold Robyn's assistant told me about a horse that was possibly for lease at Robyn's barn, where she boards and works. I contacted the owner and we immediately got along, and a month later I started leasing her horse, Conversano Druid (Dru for short). He is a Friesian/Lipizzan cross, who has done first level, and is working second. This brings me to the start of this blog, and my journey with him.