Just finished my last show with Dru. It wasn't as good as I had hoped. The first ride I thought was good. Not as good as our ride in the last show, but good. The judge didn't think so. He wanted consistency, and we didn't have that. We had some good moments, and some ehh moments. It was just kind of a bummer. I got third and a 60. Not our best. The second test was even worse. He wasn't there and he didn't want to be loose. I rode him to the best I could, but nothing seemed to help him. We got our lowest score ever, a 58. The judge was nice, and gave helpful criticism. I didn't like him because I felt he gave the better score to the horse who was consistent. But dru and I had way better moments than the better scored ride. But we also had worse moments. I'm sad that it's over, but know it was time. I'll miss him a ton, but there will be other horses that I'll fall even more in love with. Time will tell.

On a happier note; I saw x show first lvl. He looked awesome! I'm excited to lease him and hope I can make him look as good! The rest of the show was really fun too!

I feel like I mess everything up. And I do not want to ride x.

I love dru so much. He's the horse I want to always ride. He's perfect for me. He gives me enough of a challenge that I'm always thinking, but not too much so that I'm scared. He's playful and can cheer me up whenever I'm sad. Awesome ride today. Went out in the field and just cantered. Relaxing and not so stressful. He's getting so much better about his head too!

On a different note I was talking to r today about putting horses down. She said she couldn't look a horse in the eye and put it down unless there was a valid reason. So she couldn't do it to the horses that she has now that are old and don't work very much or at all. I don't really understand how she can't do it. But I realized I've never had a horse for 20 years. The bond that you have must be crazy after that long. The most I've ever had a horse was for about a year. And even then we were pretty close. I hope I some day experience that kind of bond.

Really great lesson. At first I warmed up making sure he had a go button. But found out he doesn't need that much of one, because he can get too fast. I know, hard to believe. Then we did a 20m and I closed my eyes for a little bit. It's frustrating because I don't remember what I did to keep his head down. He just did it. We just leg yielded him to the outside reign and he was just there. But whenever I do it on my own I can't seem to get it right. There wasn't one big thing I did, there were several small comments on what to do that when all added up made him good.

Ride was a little bit better today. His neck just doesn't want to go down. I think not having all of the heat to loosen him up is what's really making it worse. He's always so amazing on hot days. I hope the next show is really hot again! I guess I'll keep trying.

On a side note... No matter if I'm crying thinking about missing him, having an amazing ride and realizing I'm in love, or having to let go of the horse I know I want to be with forever, cause he's just that one for me, I'm sad. I'm sad, and know I'm going to miss him like crazy and probably have a really hard month coming up, I have never second guessed myself. No matter how sad I am I know that I made the right choice for me. Which makes the pain worth it. I couldn't have done it any other way. I'd rather have this then have him just taken away like what might have happened if his owner moved him for the winter. And I have a new horsey crush and want to ride her <3

Dru was wicked stiff today. He was trying, I was just upset. Pretty bad ride. :(

Don't want to ride dru or Xavier. Dru because there's no point anymore. It used to be ride to get better, for the next show, or to learn something new. Now there's nothing else. It's done. And Xavier isn't the horse I'm familiar with, the horse I love. I don't really think I'll ever have with xav what I have with dru, because I've never had anything close to what dru and I have. It stinks because loosing dru has put me in such a bad mood. Thinking about stopping riding for a month.

It's strange that I can now fill in the blank about Dru. I don't want to, but I never wanted to fill in any of those blanks. With each horse I rode and grew close to, there was a sad ending. I'm accustomed to them now, and understand what I will go through. But no matter how many times it happens, each one hurts more than the last, and it sesems I fall harder with each one. I feel like just yesterday I'd finally gotten passed chessie, and now I have to start all over again. I will miss dru, I will not want to ride Xavier. But I will move on, all the while wondering when it will be too much, questioning when I will give it up. When will I be so sick of loosing them that I just decide I'm done. And then I think about it, and see every horse is better than the last, and every horse I fall even more in love with. So no, I don't think I will ever just give it up. I'll go through the sadness of loosing yet another, and preserve hope that someday it won't be like this. Until then, Dru is done. I have a few more rides on him, and then I will forever hold him in my heart. As well as Nigel, Joey, Marissa, Thumper, and Chessie.

Dru was special and I love him so much. He made me the rider I am today, and taught me how to ride, really ride. I think a piece of my heart will always be with him. He was the first horse I showed, and got a blue ribbon with. He taught me not to always be scared, and gave me courage to keep going, even when I thought there was no reason. I'll never forget him<3

Position, position, position. Not heals down, legs back, shoulders up. Precise placing over every hoof that touches the ground. My hip moves off of the line a millimeter he should respond. My pelvic bone tilting any way should cause him to respond, sending him flying forward, or slowing down. It's more than walk, trot, canter. It's every little thing in between that I need to pay attention too, otherwise, in three little things, you have a big thing.

People need to show their level. Or I need to be like everyone else and show a level below where I really am just to beat everyone. Because a horse really needs a ton of muscle to do a five minute test.
Good ride today. It was hot so we took lots of breaks, which means he keeps thinking he's done. So when we did our tests he was pretty sure he was done and not going to listen. Second test was better. I'm ready to learn some new stuff and not keep doing the same thing. Another chapter closes...

So after a long week of riding Xavier I've come back to dru with more knowledge, and as always, expecting more of him. We were both furthering our educations last week and had to come together and figure out how we could do it effectively. He was pretty frisky at first, he bit me and was being all girthy and kinda stupid. I decided just to lunge him and make sure we established right off who was in charge. After that he was pretty good. One thing I really like about him is the second I go into the saddle everything is about that moment. The craziness and frustration before I get on don't matter there. Same when at a show. I sit down and think let's get to work and all of my nerves or annoyances are gone. I've never had that with a horse before. Pretty good ride. He's an awesome horse.

Nigel- died

Joey- sold


Marissa- sold


Elliot- sold


Thumper- left him


Chessie- sold


Dru-

Figuring out that our warmups need to be really long to get him in a place where he is relaxed and flexible. It will literally take a half an hour or more. And when I give him a break and pick him back up he is right where we started with his head again. But overall awesome riding. Super fun!

Dru is very awesome.

Really great ride this morning. Warmed up pretty well. His head was steady. Not perfect, but I've come to the realization that it's a work in progress and takes time. Even his owner has trouble with it and it's been 4 years for her. We went over some ground poles, and I find after I chase him around enough and loosen up his neck he is much better after. Forwardness is becoming less and less of an issue. I feel like we even rushed a few things today, which is an accomplishment. He gives me forward when I ask and is pretty good at extensions, but not so good at slowing down after. We need more contact. I give him some reign when he is accepting the bit, and the second I put any pressure on his mouth what we had is gone and his head shoots up in the air. We ran 1st 1 and it was ok, but s great warm up for the training test. He needs a lot of warm up to be loose and able to move his neck. And still at the end of our ride it was still tense. The chiro couldn't even do anything with it and was having trouble. But anyways then we walked down Harmon rd. With a driving horsey :) dru was really good and didn't spook once!

Same old, same old. Working on head down. It has gotten better but still way frustrating. He's never like oh I remember this, everyday it's a fight. After I warm up I've been working on sitting trot. It's gotten better. I don't know how to keep his head down consistently. I don't know how to make his back less hollow. And I don't understand this whole counting thing. When do I ask for the canter. I know it's his outside hind, but at what point do I ask for it? When it's touching the ground? He wouldn't respond fast enough, when it's up in the air? I don't know when that is. Knowing where his hind feet are by his ribs has gotten easier and I'm just more aware of it, but I don't understand why it matters why I know where his feet are. I'm not quick enough with it to be able to time anything with it yet.

Druyyy was such a good boy today! His head wasn't perfect, but much improvement. He was pretty great.

Showing is stressful! So much work for this five minute ride. Also so much fun. It was worth it in the end and I'm super excited for the next one! I was pretty calm until we pulled into the Hollis, and then I asked myself what I was doing there. I didn't have a lot of time to warm up, like 20 minutes. Without a good warmup we just aren't good. I need to flex his neck and relax him. We went in and did ok, I was a little nervous, but it was better than I expected. The second test I was even more behind. I walked him around for 5 min and then had a two minute warm up. We got third both times, so it all worked out. Need to be more prepared.

Yesterday was HOT!! My car said it was 100 degrees out! Just warmed him up, he was pretty good. Then we ran through our tests. They were okay... getting a little nervous for my first show! Ah!

Went to Hollis yesterday with Dru. I was amazed at how good he was there! He looked around and then went, Oh! I know this place. I could just walk around on a long reign and he was perfect. The warm up was great. Best ride I've ever had on him. His head was down, we were connected. We went into the ring, he kinda lost it, training one went pretty bad.. partly my fault. There were no letters, and the fencing wasn't up so I was really confused. We gave him a break and took him over some small jumps. Well my friend and I traded horses and she took him over a few. We had like an hour in between sense someone was having a driving lesson. He was pretty bad at jumping, it was really funny. Training 2 was a lot better than 1. Head down more, listening, and I actually knew what to do. Overall pretty good day. I'm so proud of him! Excited for the show Sunday and feeling more prepared.

Dru is getting better, slowly but surely. Not prepared for the show. Ahh running around with my head cut off. We shall see how this goes.

Had a lesson today. Dru was good. Just pushed him forward a ton and he put his head down. I don't really think it solved the problem. Just frustrated we haven't gotten very far.
Good things about him....
He's a sweet horse
He wants to please
You can experiment a lot and he doesn't react a lot... like spurs I could learn how to use them on him and I don't have to worry when doing new things because he really doesn't care
I feel comfortable with him
He has a lot to teach me

Very frustrated at first. Lunged with side reigns to get his darn head DOWN! It never stays down, most annoying thing ever. After that got on and got very mad at him because he wouldn't keep his head down. He wouldn't bend either. I did circles, and leg yielding, and then more circles. Still nothing. I got so mad that whenever he would put his head up (he is not throwing it up he is just not having any connection through the reigns) I would make him go back to whatever we were doing until he put his head down, and then proceed. It worked, but I'm still frustrated. He was a good boy though, I felt like he was trying, and I wasn't asking the right way. I'm also kind of bored. I haven't done anything new for awhile, and in my last lesson we worked on pleasure stuff and equitation because I was supposed to go to a show. I didn't end up going and now have nothing new to work on.

Trust and Barn "Homes"

Lately I've realized something about trust. I've never really thought I could do much, and I've always been pretty timid. The first week I was leasing Dru I fell off him, and although I wasn't hurt, I refused to get back on him for a little bit. My first lesson back on him we stayed at the "friendly" end of the arena. Until about half way through R said we were going to trot down to the scary end. I thought she was crazy, and thought to myself, we haven't even walked down there yet, and you want me to TROT! I was not very thrilled about that. She insisted and I reluctantly grit my teeth, and we somehow got through it. R continues to challenge me and ask me things I never intend on doing, but somehow do them, and in the end it always seems to work out all right. With each new thing I begin to trust that she can see something I can not. Now looking back at my fear of trotting I think it was ridiculous, but not having someone push me to do that I would probably still be petrified of it.

I used to always want to go to Breezy. I only knew a few people at Robyn's and the people I did know didn't really ride when I did. I wasn't too crazy about Dru, and I wasn't very comfortable with him. I would go to Breezy with friends and always seemed to have a great time. The last two times I went out there I found I didn't like it, and was actually a little irritated. I think now I'm just realizing that Breezy was my barn "home".  I knew the routine, knew what to do, and knew the people. Now I would much rather go to R's. I know more people, and we mostly share the same views on riding, which makes it much easier to ride around. I have a routine, and am much more confident with Dru, he's grown on me a bit :)

Rode Dru finally. Had a great lesson Fri, I think riding other people's horses made me have higher expectations for him, and made me more solid on him. When I showed him I was in charge, he barley threw his butt around. He listened much better, and respected me. We did leg yielding, and other things that I can't remember. It was way better than it had been the last time I rode him. Very happy!
Yesterday I rode again. At first I just got on him, figuring K had ridden him that weekend so he would be okay. Nope, he was so hyper, I got off and lunged him and let him get all of his bucks out. When I got back on it took him a little bit, but I got him to the point of where we were before he was lame. Then of course, he had to go back to his i'm going to back up and hop up and down and not move. So I hopped off and chased him around a bit. When I got back on he threw a few bucks, they were kind of funny because he wasn't getting anywhere but didn't want to give up. Finally at the end his head went down and he was relaxed, his tail was swishing, his back was rounded and he was moving fluidly. Canter work was really nice, I didn't want to stop. We did walk to canters and a stretchy canter and trot. Really, really nice. We did a test at the end and it was great because it was training one on steroids. R had a stubborn little pony who liked to stop randomly, look around and try to come find Dru. We practiced our halts in the middle of the test, and did some walk to canters so we could actually finish the test, along with some leg yielding to dodge the naughty pony. Overall, it was a good ride :)

Rode Xavier again today, he is so much easier to ride! I can almost have xav first level by the second time I've ridden him, not even close with Dru. He is a very picky hard horse. Xav is so fun and easy and I feel like I'm actually doing something right.

On a different note... I will show someday and probably not do so well with Dru, but someday I hope I will show and be able to win and actually be good. Just can't let jealousy get in the way...

Dru being lame is a bummer... can't go to the show tomorrow. But I did ride my friend's horse Rosie today. Very cool, like her a lot. She's responsive, and learns everything so easily. It comes so naturally to her. So much fun to ride. I like getting to ride different horses. Something to learn from each of them.

So much running through my mind right now. I've been missing Chessie a lot lately. I'm not really sure why either. I have what I wanted. To be at Robyns. I don't understand why I feel this way. The thing I most miss about chess is our relationship. Not riding, but at night I could just go in her stall and she would put her head on me and I could cry in her shoulder, or tell her all the amazing things happening. Now I have a horse I like riding way more than her, but don't have the relational aspect. Ya get what ya get I guess.
I've lost every horse I've ever cared about... Nigel, Joey, Marissa, thumper, and Chess. I'm so sick of it. I contemplate giving up. I'm angry and want this fight to be over. But then I think about it and know I can't do that. I really shouldn't be complaining I have the barn I want and a horse to teach me things. I just wonder if I should keep fighting, or realize it just isn't meant to be? I don't have what it takes to be who I want to be. I'm not meticulous, precise, or good enough to be a dressage rider. Is it just ridiculous of me to make something Im not?
My whole life I watched others accomplish their dreams. Every single person I used to ride with now owns their own horse. Will I ever live mine? I just don't know.

Sad my boii is still lame, I lunged him  but he wasn't getting better, so I just put him back outside. I was going to lunge him in front of R, and she was running a little late and I was a little early, and couldn't do anything, so I just hung out with him. He always hates his face touched, and anytime he tries to get close to you it's usually to see how you taste. He likes to lick, and play. I was just gently petting his neck and got him really relaxed, and he put his head down and leaned it on me. We stood there for a good half an hour, just relaxing there. It was very cute, and he made me feel better. He's so hard to get affection from, any little step will make me happy!
K also thinks the problem isn't in his foot, but his back or his shoulder.
So R told me I could pretty much ride whoever, so I decided to give Xavier a whirl. People had told me I should try him, but I wasn't convinced until I didn't have another horse to ride. It was a great, fun ride. He is so much easier to get rounded and his head down. His walk is a little funky, but once he's warmed up he is really great! His gaits are SO smooth, and his canter is the best thing ever! He just glides around. I also feel like I do better with my hands on him, and it is much easier to keep them steady. I don't have to try so hard, he is much more responsive. We did a little counter canter, leg yield trot and canter, canter wasn't always on purpose, but it sure was fun! A nice break from Dru, hoping to ride him some until Dru gets better. I think I might want to start having some lessons on him just to learn more and take a break from Dru. Glad to have two good horses to ride now!!

Not a very productive lesson on Friday. I felt like I couldn't do anything correctly, and Dru had already been ridden pretty hard, so he wasn't overly thrilled to be working hard again. R was telling me to do all these things, and I would try, and then just loose focus. Eventually I just got so frustrated and said I didn't think I could do anything with my hands, and holding two whips wasn't helping. She had me do an exercise where you put the two whips together and you have to keep them touching. It was fine, I guess. I didn't feel like it accomplished a lot. The rest of the lesson was the same way. At the end I asked for spurs, so we tried those. He responded by pinning his ears back and backing up. After 15 minutes of that he started going pretty well. It was good because it didn't take a lot of energy from either of us, and then it felt like we had accomplished something by the end when he cantered. I haven't been able to ride him for a few days, and he's a little lame now, so I shall see what happens when he is better!

Rode Dru in a group lesson today. It went pretty well. He was really hyper at first, but as it went on he settled down. We started by doing trot extensions and canter catch-ups. Then we did some extensions in the canter, leg yielding, and a little counter canter. It was a lot of fun, and we didn't have to nit-pick everything as much, we could just do it. It was also nice because I had either Lindy (a Standardbred) or Prince (a Thoroughbred) in front of me. They are both reasonably forward horses so I didn't have to push so much to get him to go. I also rode in muck boots, and I liked them a lot better. It was a lot easier to get my leg down and off of him... weird, you'd think the boots I spent tons of money on would help me more.

Had another great day at Breezy! I like it there when there isn't anyone there. Em, Wil, and I took some babies down to the main barn to take videos. Bringing a not even halter broke baby, who hasn't been anywhere in three years, and who is hot in general, is wayyy out of my comfort zone. And by baby, I mean 3 year olds. Big babies. I'm finding that the anticipation of what horses are going to do is worse than when they actually do anything. I was leading this horse through the pasture and she spooked and tried to run me over, I automatically stopped her and made her back up, natural in-stink just kind of takes over. I'm never scared when they're doing it, I just think about what they're going to do and have all these scary pictures run through my mind. In the end, even though it was nerve raking having to lead the babies and bring them to a new barn (we were leading them from their barn to the main barn, where they have never been) made me feel more confident in myself, and very, very sure I do not want a baby.
I did get to see my favorite baby though! Charese! I love her so much. I think Wil takes more of a rough approach to training, and he was getting frustrated with her for not listening to him. All I wanted to do was join up with her. I could tell she was just really scared and needed someone to trust, and the more yelling and commotion going on just made it worse. It just made me really sad, I don't understand why I feel so drawn to this horse.
I rode Emma's horse today. She was riding and I was giving her pointers, just simple things, like how to tell a horse to stop with your seat, how to ask for the canter (inside leg forwards, outside leg back) and how to correctly ride it, how to push her forward with just your seat, and not to squeeze her with every stride. I really miss teaching. I mean I wasn't the worlds greatest, but I just tough beginners or people learning to do things at the trot or just starting to canter on the lounge. Some people think you shouldn't teach until you're really good, but I disagree. I'm not going to be teaching people anywhere near the same level as me, and the basics are the basics, no matter what. Obviously there will be some differences, but I don't think it's a huge deal. Especially with kids.
So I didn't really want to ride Rosie, but when I got on her I was amazed at how good she was. She doesn't get ridden a lot, like once every two weeks, so she had a lot of energy, but she was really responsive. Her head goes down so easily, she has a go button, and she picks up on things so fast. She's making me reconsider my type of horse. I really liked her. We just did w/t/c and leg yielding, turn on the forehand, and stuff like that, but it was just so much easier on her than Dru. I loved it! So tomorrow is back to Dru :p stubborn old Dru. At least he's trained higher than she is.

So much to take in. So much in one day, riding Chloe, working with the babies, talking to people about trainers, learning stuff about myself, and then riding Dru! Ahh.

So my friends and I bring all of the babies in, brush all of them, and take pics.

Most of them are good, they're decent to be brushed and pretty well mannered for what they've been taught. There is one baby, Charese, who is freaking out. She is rearing, pacing, doing everything in that stall that she can to show how upset she is. The other people I was with just ignored her, figuing she'd settle down eventually, there wasn't really a good reason for her to be freaking out. I felt so bad for her, and whenever I see a horse in a stall or paddock (someplace they can't harm me) I'm just so drawn to them, want to help them, and show them that everything is okay. I have no clue why, maybe it's something I never got and want to give it to them.

So I go right up to her and start petting her and trying to calm her down. She was pretty good, and had her face resting on mine and was starting to relax. Whenever I left she started freaking out again, and whenever Emma went over she got too frustrated or didn't care enough to stay with her. It's not that Emma wasn't good enough, or patient enough, she just wasn't as passionate about it. I would go back, calm her down, and she would put her head back down and rest on me. The connection was so incredible, I couldn't leave her side. Then, when no one else would brush her (they thought I was crazy for liking her), I went in the stall and did it, pretty scared of what she would do. I made Emma help me, I can't take all the credit. But the way she looked at me when I calmed her down, and the connection I felt was so amazing. She trusted me, believed me, had someone love her, which is something she typically doesn't get. The weird thing... I HATE hot horses. Can't stand them, run away from them. But at the same time, I draw near to them. I immediately went over to her, and tried to see what I could do.. if she would let me into her world. She responded really well. A few things I took from that... is it meant to be I have these horses that I'm scared of, but love so much? One day will I be able to handle them on the ground, or will fear always get in the way. I would much rather ride a scared horse than take the risk of them running me over. I've heard that good horse people aren't fearless, they're just smart about it. Can I learn to be smart? How do I overcome these fears? I'm capable of it physically, but mentally can I get past it?

I rode a new horse today, I was trying her out. The one thing I loved about her was how safe I felt. She was pretty big, hands wise and just over all. Her hooves were the size of a dinner plate! She couldn't do much dressage. Can I find a better horse, that I feel safe with, at my price range? I had pretty much said no to her until that point was made to me. I honestly have no clue, I have a million people saying no. Well 8 people. Four saying try her more (2 of them are the owners so it doesn't really count). But really, it's one yes, and one maybe. I have no clue what to do. I take the people's opinions I value more and give them more weight, so theres a few more no's, and a few more yes'.

I have talked a lot about trainers this weekend, and heard a lot of different views. Mainly people don't agree with certain things trainers do. Of course I don't agree with every single aspect of who I ride with now, but you really won't like every single thing in a person. I've always been solid on who I like teaching me, Robyn, Gloria, people like that. I don't like it when people question it, it's my judgment and I can have lessons with who I please. Not that I disregard what anyone says, some do have valid points, just nothing I get too upset about. To me knowledge is important. You have to know how to do something to teach others, obviously. But what I like about Robyn and Gloria is they have many creative ideas about how to do it. Other trainers I've ridden with have the correct way to do something. Like slowing a horse down, half halt. When that doesn't work, what do you do. The old trainer didn't do anything, told me to half halt more, which obviously wasn't working. To me it is more important that they help you solve the problem, rather than just give you the correct answer. There is a difference between a rider, and a horse person.

Dru. Hmm. I love him. He frustrates me, and sometimes scared me, but not too much. I'm skeptical to buy this other horse because she doesn't have as much training as him, which I'm just not going to get with my price range. So I figure save money, buy a horse when I can get exactly what I want. When will that be? Who knows. Really good lesson Friday, have to blog about that later, I've written enough today. Had a fun, relaxing ride. Just rode up and down the drive way, got his butt moving, and had fun!

Finally having fun! I brought him in and he was all antsy about everything, probably because I haven't ridden him in so long. I walked him around and then worked on getting his head down and his back rounded, the usual. I got a bucking strap, and we have become friends. At first he was mad I was holding my outside reign so steadily and would try to stop. After a little bit he gave up on that and eventually, like magic, his head went down! I was very pleased. In the other direction he was good, like always :) I warmed him up w/t/c and gave him a short break. After that I did a little more with his head and then did figure eights. We did a ton of transitions and eventually did a walk to canter, and canter to walk. It was so fun to do fun things and not so focused on getting his big, honking neck down. I also find that it helps when we don't focus on that, because I just get really frustrated. At the same time I feel like I shouldn't move on until I can keep his head down all the time. It is improving, and it's a lot better enjoying my rides.

Went out to see Dru today for the first time in over a week! He had a lot of energy, so we did a lot of lunging. First I joined up just to let him move around a bit, and he was being really good, so I tacked him up and was about to get on when he ran backwards and refused to go on one side of the arena. There was a horse beside the arena and he was scared of it. So I got a lunge line and lunged him a little, went to get back on and he started backing up and was really nervous and still had a lot of energy so I decided to keep lunging him. I liked it because I could get him into all the corners and scary spots and he had to get used to it. He was really relaxed and supple by the end, so that was nice.

I've just come back from a missions trip so I can't really remember my last few rides before I left... but I can try.
My friend came out with me Thursday and video taped my ride. After our little fight (him saying no and me having to make him go) we seemed to have gotten a little better. He is a little more convinced I'm going to make him go, even if he really doesn't want to, and I am more confident that I can make him do it. He is becoming more collected, and we've done some walk, canter, walk things. This originally started because he was being a brat, and then I discovered how much he actually does know!
My lesson Friday was really good. We worked on the normal getting his head down and relaxed stuff, but it wasn't as long as it usually is, so that was good. I was telling R about him randomly cantering and stopping. She decided we should do it "for real". It was kinda rough at first, but then we did some figure eights, and did TONS of transitions. After that he listened really well and the walk to canters were really clean. It was a pretty good ride overall. I hope we can continue there when I ride tomorrow!

Bad. Worse. Worst.
     I find it very easy to stay focused on the negative of my ride today. I also want to blame someone else, but there is not really anyone to blame. Dru did not want to be ridden today, and protested every second he got. It started out okay, but then one of the two lesson kids in the arena was being lunged in the top half of the arena. So another girl and I were stuck at the "scary" end of the arena. His recent mirror trauma (you'd think, the way he acted, he was the one who ended up with a huge cash on his face) has made him unenthusiastic, to say the least, to go to the other half of the arena. And he's a complete faker about the mirror scaring him. He'll be fine, then the next time around be so over dramatic about. At first I fell into his little trap, but not for long!
     I think part of the reason he was being extra lazy was because his owner had ridden him fairly close to when I had, and he hadn't had much time in between rides. So he was all the more slow. When we were cantering he decided he didn't want to go anymore and simply started slowing down until he was practically cantering in place. I was pretty mad at him at that point and was done with him testing me, so i had some double whip action going on. He then went again, perfectly collected. He did that a few more times before figuring out I wasn't going to let him stop. This made me beyond frustrated, but also taught me two things. One, he can do a lot more than he let's on to, and I have no reason why I can't ask more of him. He knows how to do it, and has no excuse not to. Second, that he gives up fairly easily, and once you get past the initial stubbornness he is fine. It showed me that I can handle his stupid bucks and minor temper-tantrums. I have to suck it up, and show him I am queen of the universe! (= hehe
     My outside reign issue is the root of my unhappiness. I try, and try, and try some more, and no matter what feel like I suck, and he's stupid. It's very frustrating. Now he's figured out that he can move sideways when I don't have enough outside reign, and loves to do that. So I make him stop, he get's mad, goes well for a little bit, tries again and the process repeats itself. Very irritating. In his better direction, the left, he's great about putting his head down, just over bends a ton. My fault, again. I was trying so hard to get him to focus on me, as well as not using enough inside reign, he was over bending a lot. In the other direction it's a double whammy. It's his bad side, as well as my left hand for the outside reign, which is my weaker hand. It's really terrific!
     My rides have gotten shorter because I'm so frustrated with him. They have progressively gotten a little worse, and I'm mad and don't know how to fix it. And now I won't ride him for more than a week, so I guess it'll all just have to wait.

It was a scary mirror day yesterday. One of the mirrors has broken in the arena and Dru was not enjoying that. There was also a new trainee in there with me, who was more scared than Dru, so he was following Dru... a bad combination. I tried to do lots of leg yielding, squares, circles, stopping randomly to keep his attention on me. He was pretty relaxed by the end.
My out side reign problem persists, it's gotten a lot better on the right, but I am right handed so that probably helps, but the left I still feel isn't great. My friend had bought me a bucking strap for long lining Chessie, but I can't find it now! I'm kinda mad about that because it would be helpful to have something to make sure my hand can stay steady. Hopefully I'll find that.
My rides have been pretty short the past few days, I do my warm up and then just don't know what else to do. I practice a test, the just take him down the drive way. He's gotten way better about that.

Ehh. That's kind of how I feel all around today. I made plans with a million people today and felt bad the whole time I was at the barn because I had so much to do. When I got on him he was pretty good, relaxed but SLOW! Maybe it was my go go go personality today that made it seem unbearable. I decided to tackle his bad bending direction first. He was good at the walk, started out good at the trot, but then spooked and lost all focus. I then spent what seemed like forever working on my outside reign and not giving him any break until he listened. I wonder if it's me asking him wrong or in a way he doesn't know or him just being stubborn. That took a long time and I was getting more and more frustrated. When he finally did something a little right I switched directions and warmed him up the other way. He was pretty good, but I was just really frustrated for some reason. He was maybe being a little worse than he usually is, but it seemed a ton worse. After that I just took him up the drive way a few times and he has improved tremendously at that, so that was good. Pretty blah ride, my fault, not his. I just liked brushing him and hanging out with him today.

Ride Today

Today was a good day all around. I saw my dad for a bit and he took some good pictures and videos of me riding. It's always good to see yourself riding, I always find the image in my head is totally different from what is actually happening. Sometimes it is good, and sometimes not. From the videos I saw I need to keep my hands down and more steady. That would probably help Dru more too, seeing how his head needs to be down, and more steady. There were a few lessons going on throughout my ride, which just makes everything confusing, that is one thing I miss about Breezy, you pretty much always had the arena to yourself. Luckily Robyn has a bigger indoor, and a nice outdoor when all of this darn snow finally melts!

So I got to the barn and took my time brushing him and playing around with him. I was trying to avoid the lessons, but it was inevitable. When I finally sucked it up and went in I was pleased when Dru immediately put his head down and moseyed around the arena. A month ago that would not have been possible, it took the whole ride for us to be relaxed, with his head down and me trusting him enough to give it to him. We worked on getting his head down, again. In my defense he has a very large neck that is not easy to maneuver. In an attempt to correct my outside reign issue I was leg yielding him in a circle trying to get him to come to it. It's helpful, but ultimately I just need to keep it steady. I gave him a short break and then did some stretchy trot and canter, along with working on collection. At the end I would have normally given him a short break, and then done a test, but he's always mad when he thinks he's done and I make him do a test, so I skipped the break and went straight for the test. I always feel like our ride gets really good and we've made progress, and then the test just stinks. This helped a little. We're working on training 2. It was somewhat difficult dodging horses and Robyn, but we survived! Our center line ended up on the quarter line, but the halt was nice! To cool him out I took him down the drive way, quite the experience. Going towards the road he is fine, but going towards Robyn's house.. forget it. We do circles and circles, and more circles, and when he finally realizes we're up the drive way, there is no way he's sticking around! I think it's kind of funny, but I'm not sure he agrees :)

On a side note... I got my show clothes and am super excited for my first show!!
On another side note... I came to the conclusion that everything I'm telling Dru to do I need to do in my life. I'm a very big hypocrite!

Chessie!

Marissa!

Joey and I at Spurwink

Beach Fun!

Thumper and I

Today's Lesson and Random Ramblings

This week I wasn't able to ride as much as I would have liked to. It's hard to find rides out to the barn when both of my parents are working so much. The two times I did ride, however, were very good. I definitely feel like I'm getting more of a connection with him. I was very skeptical at first... we were off to a rocky start when my first week leasing him he tripped and fell, and took me down with him. I refused to get back on him for a week, and just joined up with him. That helped a little, but I still was skeptical. I've never felt like I can completely trust a horse, whenever I've tried something has gone wrong. I don't think you really ever can completely trust them... they're 1,000 pound plus animals, that have a flight mode programmed into their brains. It is important to have some faith in them, and hope that they wouldn't try to hurt you, and most don't want to.
After I went to a clinic at the barn I had all sorts of emotions running through my mind. I was jealous of my friend who had brought her horse there, and was able to have this amazing lesson. I was happy for her, and really glad she was trying new things, but I couldn't help wallowing in my self-pitty. After an encouraging talk with my old instructor I decided in order to be able to do what I've watched all of my friends do my whole riding career (show, go to clinics etc.) I have to work for it. I made up my mind that I was going to get over my fear and get back on him. When I did, the first ride was reasonable... there were many things I wanted to improve, but I was mainly happy I did not fall off and he listened alright. Over the next few weeks I started keeping track of my good rides and bad rides. Pathetic, I know. I was being a Negative Nelly about it, trying my hardest to convince my mom I needed a horse of my own. As much as she wanted to get me one, she decided I needed a job first. Which is very convenient seeing how I will be 16 in two weeks and will be able to get my license, followed by a car.
It has now been a little over a month sense I started leasing him, and having weekly lessons with Robyn. I have stopped keeping track of the good and bad days, because now they're pretty much all good! I don't drive out to the barn now wondering how the ride is going to be, thinking of all of the horrible things that are going to happen. I go out hoping for the best, and all of my rides have been productive, fun, and a learning experience. Dru is a tourist, as Robyn says. He's in everyones business except his own. He looks around trying to keep track of everyone else, and attempting to ignore me. We have gotten much better with connection, and I'm not very afraid anymore, but he still acts like everything he sees in like looking at the Grand Cannon. Over all though I am very happy with our progress and fall more and more in love with him every time I ride. We've made it through March madness (I'm not talking about basketball :p ). We're learning about each other, and he's teaching me a ton!
Today I was talking to Robyn about the differences with him and other horses I've ridden in the past. He is trained to a higher level than me, which is something I've never had before. I said I felt like it's cheating,  but she said it's what everyone should take advantage of if given the opportunity. His owner is showing him second 1, and I'll be doing training 2. He really showed me where I am as a rider. I wasn't sure exactly where I was... with Thumper and Chessie I started riding them at around training/intro, and brought them up with me to beginning first. I figured I was almost a first level rider, still working on some aspects of training. He told me point blank I'm training level, and have a lot to learn. Which is a good thing, because he can teach me a lot! I'm very excited! Especially with show season just around the corner. It feels great having everything you've always wanted. I've had a horse "crush" on him for a long time. I would watch his owner ride him at shows and dream about riding him. I've wanted this horse, at this barn, with this trainer, FOREVER! And it's all here, and I'm sooo happy!
So for today I worked on getting him rounder and his head down and relaxed more, which we've been doing for awhile. We're improving pretty well. I have an outside reign issue, we just don't get along, but that is improving. We did training 2, and we agreed it would be a good test to show. I asked some questions to clarify some lame things, that I probably should know, like where exactly is a horse supposed to halt at a letter? And the free walk/trot/canter and how specifically to give the reigns and what the judges are looking for. Over all if was a very good lesson and Dru was a very good boy!

Background :)

A little background info... I have been riding for about four years now. I started out at Perkins Farm, where I was very fortunate to learn a lot, very quickly. I really enjoyed it there, and leased several horses, including Foxfire Joey, an appendix QH gelding, Marissa, a Morgan cross, Elliot, an American warmblood, and Thumper (my favorite of the bunch :) ), a Halflinger. While I was there I trained with the owner for about a year, and once I started riding more often I started having lessons with a trainer that came into the barn, Robyn. Robyn ultimately taught me the basics of dressage and gave me a solid foundation. After a year or so of riding with Robyn I left Perkins. I took a short break from riding as I made the transition into my freshman year of high school. When marching band was finally over I started riding again, and decided music was just not my thing, I enjoyed it, but horses were way better. After that I went to Breezy Meadows for a year. It was a great opportunity to be around warmbloods that weren't just lesson horses, like Perkins had. I leased one of the Swedish Warmbloods, Chessie Girl. Sense there was no trainer consistently there Robyn recommended her assistant to come and teach me. I rode with her for about 6 months (I rode Chessie for a year) until Chessie was sold. Although I loved her, it was obvious that we were not the match I tried so hard for us to be. She taught me so much about horses in general, and also how to really ride. She was a different kind of horse than I had ever ridden, and also a mare... a very mare-ish mare. I found a deep connection with her, but just did not love working with her. After she was sold Robyn's assistant told me about a horse that was possibly for lease at Robyn's barn, where she boards and works. I contacted the owner and we immediately got along, and a month later I started leasing her horse, Conversano Druid (Dru for short). He is a Friesian/Lipizzan cross, who has done first level, and is working second. This brings me to the start of this blog, and my journey with him.